SORRY I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS

You are present at the Crucifixion. Yeah, that one. But you have a problem:  The most important phone call of your life has come in, but it's almost impossible to hear anything over the death of the Messiah. Can you find a quiet spot to conclude your very important business? SORRY I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS is a mildly blasphemous mini-RPG for a single player.