Girth Loinhammer and the Quest for Five Freakin' Minutes

Written for Day 27 of Flash Fiction Month 2024. The challenge was: Write a work of interactive fiction in which at least half the choices are provided by the “2600 Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do During An RPG” Generator. My Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do were: 2559. Can’t wish for the genie to get me the best possible refund on my taxes every year. 1193. I will avoid making wish…