Gabe Newell Simulator
- December 14, 2015
- Antonio Renna
In "Gabe Newell Simulator," become the boss of Valve Corporation and make decisions about Steam game releases, purchases, and development. Navigate story mode with Gabe Newell, fighting rival companies and determining Half Life 3's fate. This platform includes unique bugs, easter eggs, and a "GabeN DLC" for added entertainment, but beware of potential dreams or hallucinations about GABEN.
Reviews
- The game has a humorous concept and is entertaining for a short period.
- Some players found it to be a heartwarming experience that helped them connect with loved ones.
- Despite its flaws, many fans of Gabe Newell appreciate the memes and references throughout the game.
- The game is poorly made, with numerous bugs, bad graphics, and unresponsive controls.
- Many players found it to be boring and not funny, failing to deliver on its comedic premise.
- It is considered a cash grab, lacking quality and depth, making it not worth the price.
- humor56 mentions
- 89 % positive mentions
- 0 % neutral mentions
- 11 % negative mentions
The humor in this game is largely criticized, with many players finding it unfunny, poorly executed, or simply absent. While a few moments and elements, such as music and certain levels, are noted as amusing, the overall consensus is that the game fails to deliver a satisfying comedic experience, often being described as a "sloppy mess" rather than a source of genuine laughter. Some players even express disappointment, having hoped for humor that never materialized, leading to a general sentiment of frustration rather than enjoyment.
“Played for 2 minutes, pissed myself laughing.”
“However...yeah this game has some problems but it's funny, not only because of the jokes but some levels are really awesome, the space station ones in particular.”
“+ the music and videos they put in this game are hilarious!”
“Not funny, stolen memes, and barely a game.”
“Not funny - this game is empty, has no jokes.”
“Omg what an unfunny garbage.”
- story46 mentions
- 13 % positive mentions
- 78 % neutral mentions
- 9 % negative mentions
The game's story has received mixed reviews, with some praising its depth and emotional impact, while others criticize the execution and mechanics of the story mode. Many users appreciate the detailed lore and moral lessons, but others find the story mode frustrating and poorly designed. Overall, the narrative is seen as a significant aspect of the game, though opinions on its quality vary widely.
“Moral of the story: you never know what life has in store for you, and if I had given up when all odds were against me, I wouldn't be where I am today.”
“The lore and storyline of this game is very detailed and should be given great praise.”
“- Well crafted story: this game is surely one of the greatest narratives of our time. I found myself compelled to cry, laugh, and rejoice at each twist and turn.”
“The story mode is total bullcrap with sloppy mechanics, hard controls, and annoying background music.”
“The story mode is awful.”
“Bought it during the Steam sale; whenever I try to play story mode, it crashes.”
- graphics38 mentions
- 16 % positive mentions
- 58 % neutral mentions
- 26 % negative mentions
The graphics of the game receive mixed reviews, with some praising them as stunning and on par with next-gen consoles, while others criticize them as outdated and poorly optimized. Many users report issues such as lag, bugs, and low-quality visuals, leading to a general sentiment that the graphics are inconsistent and often detract from the overall experience. Overall, the game's graphical quality appears to vary significantly, with some players finding them impressive and others deeming them subpar.
“The graphics are so crisp and clean, that when you count the pixels, you can do so within 2 minutes.”
“It runs very smoothly and has brilliant graphics.”
“Stunning graphics and a soundtrack that puts Portal to shame.”
“The level design, the bugs, the gameplay, the poor optimization, the soundtracks that sometimes play at the same time, the sound design, the visuals, the combination of pre-made assets, the UI, the stupid enemies' AI, the objects floating, the camera clipping through the walls... I have not a single positive to say about any of these things.”
“The game itself is laggy (FPS is super bad, you can barely play), shoddy graphics, bad voice acting (voice acting is almost non-existent) plus dumb AI.”
“Graphics: 2/10”
- gameplay36 mentions
- 17 % positive mentions
- 61 % neutral mentions
- 22 % negative mentions
The gameplay of the game has received mixed to negative feedback, with many users citing poor mechanics, bugs, and frustrating controls as major issues. While some praise the variety of weapons and the potential for engaging gameplay, others describe it as unresponsive and mediocre, often overshadowed by technical problems and a lack of polish. Overall, the consensus suggests that the gameplay experience is marred by significant flaws, making it difficult to recommend.
“There's also a wide variety of weapons, like pistols, AK-47s, assault rifles, and every conventional weapon you can imagine, but the most effective weapon this game has is the gameplay itself.”
“It has brilliant mechanics and is very playable.”
“Easily the best game on Steam, the RTS/tycoon gameplay of the Steam mode is perfectly complemented by the story mode.”
“The level design, the bugs, the gameplay, the poor optimization, the soundtracks that sometimes play at the same time, the sound design, the visuals, the combination of pre-made assets, the UI, the stupid enemies' AI, the objects floating, the camera clipping through the walls... I have not a single positive to say about any of these things.”
“The story mode is total bullcrap with sloppy mechanics, hard controls, and annoying background music.”
“The gameplay, the controls, the presentation, everything is a mess.”
- music28 mentions
- 21 % positive mentions
- 57 % neutral mentions
- 21 % negative mentions
The music in the game receives mixed reviews, with some praising the soundtrack as carefully crafted and enhancing the overall experience, while others criticize it for being inconsistent or annoying. Players noted moments of good background music, but also pointed out instances where music was absent or poorly integrated. Overall, the soundtrack is seen as a highlight for some, but a source of frustration for others, reflecting the game's uneven quality.
“The soundtrack is carefully sculpted to provide the best possible experience.”
“Stunning graphics and a soundtrack that puts Portal to shame.”
“The music throughout the game sets the tempo for an action-packed adventure through the life of Gaben, not to discredit the amazing sound effects provided by the studio throughout the game, punctuating each moment with a sense of tangible realism.”
“The story mode is total bullcrap with sloppy mechanics, hard controls, and annoying background music.”
“I launch it and all it is, is a blue screen with the music.”
“Shitty loud techno music.”
- stability22 mentions
- 18 % positive mentions
- 0 % neutral mentions
- 82 % negative mentions
The game's stability is widely criticized, with numerous reports of bugs, glitches, and frame rate drops that significantly hinder gameplay. While some users note that the game appears bug-free in certain aspects, the overall consensus is that it is an unfinished and unstable experience, with game-breaking issues making it hard to recommend until substantial fixes are implemented.
“Also looks like it's pretty bug-free, so I'm happy about that.”
“Bug-free and top-quality models.”
“Even though it is buggy as all hell, unfinished, and overall a mess.”
“The game is also full of glitches and frame rate drops.”
“However, some glitches are game-breaking, making it nearly impossible to recommend unless it gets fixed.”
- optimization8 mentions
- 0 % positive mentions
- 50 % neutral mentions
- 50 % negative mentions
The game's optimization has been widely criticized, with reviewers highlighting numerous issues such as bugs, poor level design, and performance problems. Players report significant gameplay disruptions, including audio glitches and visual inconsistencies, leading to an overall negative impression of the game's technical execution.
“The level design, the bugs, the gameplay, the poor optimization, the soundtracks that sometimes play at the same time, the sound design, the visuals, the combination of pre-made assets, the UI, the stupid enemies' AI, the objects floating, the camera clipping through the walls... I have not a single positive to say about any of these things.”
“Poorly made, poorly optimized and the whole concept is done really bad.”
“Same performance in the other levels except the first one.”
- monetization4 mentions
- 0 % positive mentions
- 50 % neutral mentions
- 50 % negative mentions
The monetization strategy of the game is criticized as a blatant cash grab, leveraging the name of Gabe Newell to exploit players through excessive microtransactions. Users express frustration over the game's focus on profit rather than quality.
“It's just a cash grab trying to cash in on Gabe Newell's name.”
“As much as I love garbage for the sake of garbage games, especially when drinking liquid microtransactions.”
- emotional2 mentions
- 100 % positive mentions
- 0 % neutral mentions
- 0 % negative mentions
The game is described as a heartwarming experience that resonates emotionally with players, making it a must-play for everyone, even if it doesn't reach the heights of popular films like Morbius.
“It's a good game, a heartwarming experience that everyone can enjoy. It's a game that everyone needs to play.”
- atmosphere2 mentions
- 100 % positive mentions
- 0 % neutral mentions
- 0 % negative mentions
The atmosphere is described as exceptionally unique, creating an engaging and memorable experience, particularly in the context of battling against developers attempting to undermine the release of Half-Life 3.
“I found the atmosphere exceptionally unique, which makes battling other developers who wanted to undermine and delay the release of Half-Life 3 quite engaging and memorable.”
- character development2 mentions
- 0 % positive mentions
- 0 % neutral mentions
- 100 % negative mentions
Reviews indicate a consensus that the game lacks sufficient character development, with multiple users expressing a desire for deeper exploration and growth of the characters.
“More character development is needed.”
“More character development is needed.”