Torchbearer of Love and Passion or something

Torch Bearer (first name Torch, last name Bearer), is the last man willing to light the Olympic cauldron in Japan and upkeep the 30000-years-old Olympic tradition. However, his relationship with his girlfriend Girl Friend (first name Girl, last name Friend) is going very, very poorly! Should she break up with him, she would splash him, his expensive custom shirt and, most important of all, the oly…